Crys, Crystal, Rock, and Mineral (crystalreport) wrote in kingdom_spork,
Crys, Crystal, Rock, and Mineral
crystalreport
kingdom_spork

Part Four

Title: Organization XIII’s Day at the Mall
Author: Asthetic
Rating: : : :
Full Name (including any titles): All of Organization XIII, mainly Axel, Zexion, Larxene, Demyx, Marluxia, and Roxas, as well as a Mary Sue for each of them (excluding Larxene)
Full Species(es): the Bodysnatchers: these creatures take the Nobody skins of the Org XIII members and parade around as them
Hair Color (include adjectives): Presumed canon, except for the Sues, which have weird hair colors like lavender and blue
Eye Color (include adjectives): Presumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: none, except for the Mary Sues. One of them has a fire tattoo on her hand, which Axel falls instantly in love with…
Special Possessions (if any): Clothes that Xenmas would have never allowed them to wear, cell phones, cars, need I say more?
Origin: the depths of Canon hell
Connections To Canon Characters: Axel left his wallet in the mall and someone stole all their identities, I swear!
Special Abilities: In 358/2 Days, there’s a bonus game where you can use Organization members to shop in the Mall that Never Existed. Tasks range from finding magical sitar strings in the instrument store to finding a girl in the mall that matches that member’s personality. For example, an emo girl for Zexion, a DDR queen wannabe for Axel, etc.
Other Annoying Traits: The fact that they attract Mary Sues like flies to honey.

I Say/Notes: If you thought the first part was bad, wait until you see this part. At least it doesn’t have a lot of grammar problems.

First part in case you missed it

 

 

Larxene twirled her antenna like bangs with her finger as she gazed at her nails. She just got them done at the nail center on the second floor. Her eyebrows slanted into a V as a smile came cracking along her face. She put her hand down to her side and looked at all of the bags she had in her hands. One from American Eagle, one from Aeropostale, another from WeatherVane, and the last one from Victoria’s Secret. A gulp came from her throat as she thought of the bill Xemnas would be getting later on. She shrugged and took her hot pink razor phone out from her denim pocket, opening it up and scrolling down a column of names. She clicked on Demyx’s nickname that was in her phone, “The WaterBoi,” and put her phone up to her ear. She probably needed to make sure all of the other members were still alive.

Axel: I KNEW IT! She wanted us dead all along!

Roxas: So she was in character after all! *le gasp*

Marluxia: Except for the “I love to shop” thing.

Demyxoth: GENESIS! Stop reciting Loveless, for crying out loud!

Rest of Group: …

Demyxoth: *mine is an evil laugh*

“Hello?” A very obnoxious voice rang on the other end. Demyx of course.

Demyxoth: Woman, you dare call my voice obnoxious? No one has a greater voice than DEMYXOTH!

Zexion: You know, I have no idea whether Demyx being this way is better or not.

Axel: It’s much worse, trust me.

He walked on the third floor with plastic bag hitting the side of his leg, containing a new set of sitar strings.

“Water boy,” Larxene said, “where are you?”

Demyx took a moment to answer until he rang into her phone again.

“Third floor,” He said, “Why?”

“Makin’ sure you’re still alive,” The Savage Nymph said, blowing her bang out of her face and over her head. “Call Axel and Marly to see if they are still breathing.”

Axel: Wow, Larxene is lazy.

Marluxia: And she never calls me Marly. She always respects my rank and calls me Marluxia or “Number 11”.

A sigh came from the other line.

“Why do I have to?” Demyx whined. Larxene rolled her eyes.

“Just do it!” Larxene told him, “Siya, Water Boy.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Demyx said, regretting answering his phone.

Demyxoth: *throws sitar at screen, with no effect* I never regret answering a phone. It was in that way that I found Cloud. He even led me to Mother!

Everyone else: *facepalms*

Roxas stood on the fourth floor, looking at the map that sat in a big plastic stand. He searched for Starbucks, trailing his finger along the plastic covering. He past the Club Libby Lu store, the GameStop, Rue 21, and Abercrombie and Fitch until he found Starbucks. He looked to his left, seeing the store Jared’s corner into a hallway along with the Victoria’s Secret store. He walked right past both of them, trying to keep his eyes away from staring at the lingerie at Victoria’s Secret. He took a left and found Starbucks, the smell of frapuccinos and coffee beans coming from the store.

He walked in, trying to look casual, until he felt someone tap his shoulder.

Axel:…Then he just looked like an absolute dork.

Roxas: *Ka-keyblade!*

“Hi Roxas,” Rixxy said, clasping her hands together. Roxas was relieved that it was Rixxy and not anybody from the Organization. He turned and smiled sweetly at the brunette bringing his hand up into the air and waving.

“Hey Rixxy,” He said smoothly. Well, at least trying to sound smooth.

“I already got us a table, so I guess we can get our drinks now,” Rixxy said, flexing her fingers toward the counter. Roxas nodded and followed Rixxy up to the brown and beige colored marble counter. He looked up to the menu thinking to himself, “Those…are the fanciest words I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Roxas: *as himself* I don’t even know what “coffee” means! It’s so hard to say, too!

He trailed his eyes down onto the frappucino section of the menu and decided what he wanted.

Roxas: *as himself* I’ll have the Get-Out-Of-This-Fanfic Mocha, please.

Zexion: *as cashier* Sorry, we’re all out.

Roxas: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

“May I help you two?” The Cashier asked. Rixxy turned her head to look at Roxas, who that the other one the cashier was referring to was Axel.

“Are you ready?” Rixxy asked him, taking out her leather wallet. Roxas nodded and put lowered Rixxy’s hand from opening the leather pouch.

Marluxia: “Put lowered”?

Axel: Huh? This author needs to check her grammar.

Demyxoth: Demyxoth has the best grammar in the world!!!

Zexion: Okay, enough is enough. *duct tapes Demyxoth’s mouth and does it in such a way so he can’t get it off* Much better.

Demyxoth: Mmhm mmhm mmm!!! *shakes fist at Zexion angrily*

Roxas: I think he said he’ll kill you when this is over, Zexion.

Demyxoth: *nods head in agreement*

Zexion: *shrugs* Whatever.

“I’ll pay,” He told her, feeling smoother than ever. Rixxy giggled and put her wallet back.

“Are you sure?” She asked, reaching back into her purse. Roxas nodded and took out his wallet.

Marluxia: …Which, as I remember, had Axel’s signature and quotes written on it.

Axel: Why would I write my quotes on someone else’s wallet? And what do I write? “Got it Memorized?” over and over again?

Zexion: What about “He made me feel like I had a heart”?

Axel: *flame*

“Okay,” Rixxy said, still giggling, “I’ll have the, umm, Double Mocha Grandé please?”

“Okay ma’am,” The cashier said, adding what Rixxy ordered into the cash register. “For you sir?”

“Roxas?” Rixxy whispered, waving her hand in front of Roxas’ face. Roxas snapped to it and shook his head. He had never been called a “sir” in his whole life.

Roxas: Non-existent life. I’m a Nobody, thanks for remembering!

Marluxia: I think the author already forgot we were Nobodies a long time ago.

Axel: Like from the beginning of this fic.

Demyxoth: Mmmhm! Mmm!! *points to himself*

Roxas: *sighs* Demyxoth says that he’s the greatest Nobody that ever lived and therefore he should take over the world because of that.

Zexion: *raises eyebrow* How do you know what he is saying?

Roxas: *shrugs* I don’t. I just thought that’s what he would say, anyways, in this situation.

Demyxoth: *Sa-sitar!*

Roxas: *rubs head* OW! Hey!

Axel: Receiving just desserts, aren’t we, Roxas?

Roxas: Shut up, Axel.

“Um, the Vanilla Frappucino, please?” He said, feeling plain for not using as big of words Rixxy used.

Roxas: Yeah, because saying “Mocha” and “Grande” means that you are the most grandiloquent person on the planet.

Marluxia: “Grandiloquent”?

Roxas: When I’m bored, I steal Zexion’s dictionary from his room and read it.

Zexion: So it was you! *death glares at Roxas*

The cashier typed in his order and nodded.

“Okay,” He said, “That’ll be…13.50.”

Roxas gulped. Expensive.

Roxas and Axel: *glance at each other, and then take out their weapons and destroy the theater for the heck of it*

*as always the concession stand is spared. It’s the eternal concession stand, don’t ask why*

Demyx: *back to his normal self, minus the duct tape* Huh? What happened? All I remember was a big orchestra kidnapping me...

Axel: *pats him on the shoulder* Yeah, you don’t need to know what happened. Let’s just say things went very weird during the spork. Nothing to worry about though, right guys?

*Everyone else nods eagerly*

Demyx, Axel, and Roxas leave via portal, but Marluxia and Zexion stay behind.

Marluxia: *takes out hidden camera from his coat* Yep, Zexion, I caught the whole thing on tape.

Zexion: Excellent! *rubs hands gleefully* Now we can blackmail the other members!

Marluxia: *takes out tape* Wait a minute...it’s all soggy…Did Demyx do this?

Zexion: The tape is destroyed?!? So, no chance for blackmailing?

Marluxia: Looks like it. *shrugs*

Somewhere outside the theater…

Axel: …Did any of you guys hear a loud “NOOOOOOOO!!” from the theater, or was it just me?

Roxas: I think that’s all the sea salt ice cream going to your brain, Axel.

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  • 5 comments
Roxas: *as himself* I’ll have the Get-Out-Of-This-Fanfic Mocha, please.
Zexion: *as cashier* Sorry, we’re all out.
Roxas: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

XD Best Starbucks joke ever.

Marluxia: …Which, as I remember, had Axel’s signature and quotes written on it.
Axel: Why would I write my quotes on someone else’s wallet? And what do I write? “Got it Memorized?” over and over again?
Zexion: What about “He made me feel like I had a heart”?
Axel: *flame*

I laughed so hard. XD
Wonderful sporking. :D
XD Thanks.

Anonymous

November 28 2008, 03:05:03 UTC 8 years ago

haha great sporking.

Perfect ending for it too.

xD

*shares brain bleach* So many Sues...so much OOC...*shudders*.
*chugs brain bleach down* Yes, the OOC...*shudders*

Thanks. XD
demyxoth. :D Brilliant. Love your character interactions and commentaries!

Is this author advertising for every store at the mall or something? I don't know...